What is coming off antidepressants like?
Deciding to come off my antidepressants was a difficult journey. They were never intended to be long term and so I wanted to come off as soon as I could. It wasn’t until after I tapered off I realised that you’re supposed to be on them for a minimum of six months since they started working. For me, they worked almost immediately, so it was around the six-month mark. This is something I discovered from my research, but I think everyone who starts them should be explicitly told this.
Coming off too soon can have adverse effects.
They say you know when the time is right, and it’s true. I knew tapering off would be a journey and so I wanted to start it before we went into the colder/rainier/darker months when I feel a bit more meh. Mid-June, I decided it was time to stop them. With summer here and a puppy on the way, it felt like the perfect set-up for me to start the journey.
Nobody warned me stopping them can be really tough. A part of me is glad I didn’t know. The other part wishes I’d been educated.
Having decided it was time to come off, I contacted my doctor. With the pandemic and the general state of the NHS, doctors are near impossible to get a hold of. The options are either booking an appointment a month or so in advance or calling every morning at 8am until you get lucky. Calling every morning filled me with dread, but waiting another month was not an option. Instead, I opted to fill out an online form for my doctor. My hope was that I would receive a detailed email, or a link to a website, detailing how to stop the tablets.
I didn’t. I received three lines on a text telling me I could taper off and so take one every other day and then go down to two a week. No time scale, no nothing. That was all the information I was given.
Tapering off
I did my research and came up with a plan. I would do every other day for 2 weeks and then if I felt okay, I’d drop to half every other day for 2 weeks. It’s worth noting that I wasn’t on a high dose (50mg Sertraline). If you’re wanting to stop yours, then please contact your doctor and hound them until you get proper advice.
To begin with, I felt really happy. It was like starting the next leg of my journey to recovery. However, that feeling only lasted a few days. The physical withdrawals kicked in quite quickly for me. I had lots of headaches, brain zaps and vertigo. Knowing that it might be difficult, I had reduced my workload so I could do my best just to get through the withdrawals. After about a week, the brain zaps calmed down. I went another week before going to half a tablet every other day.
At this point, I was feeling drained from the withdrawals and just generally fed-up with feeling rubbish. The vertigo became really bad for the first few days. At this point, I probably should have contacted my doctor, but as I mentioned earlier, they’re impossible to get through to. After a week and a half, the vertigo calmed down, and I decided to just stop the tablets. I’d read the withdrawals can last for up to 6 weeks and I was eager just to get it over with. This might not have been the most sensible approach, but it was what felt right for me.
Stopping
The week after taking my final tablet was difficult. I could feel the negative emotions starting to creep back in. I’m scared that I didn’t stay on them for long enough, however I know depression can be a side effect of stopping antidepressants (ironic, hey?). I wouldn’t say I was depressed as such, just a little down. The self-doubt and lack of confidence has crept back in and I’m just trying to get through it.
It’s possible these feelings are just side effects/withdrawals. There are also some external factors influencing my thoughts and feelings at the moment. Who knows? It could be anything.
Overall thoughts
I am so happy I gave antidepressants a try. Despite a little dip after coming off them, I still feel so much better than I did when I started them. I’m hopeful that as I continue to be off them I’ll feel better. It’s not been easy, but this journey will be worth it.
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